Couple change 4-month-old son's name behind sister-in-law's back after she steals his first, middle, and last name for her own baby: "[You're] just trying to gatekeep names"

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    AITA for silently changing my son's name after my brother and SIL gave my nephew the name too?

    "She wanted to connect our two boys by giving them the same name"
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    My wife and I had our son 4 months ago. We had a name chosen early in her pregnancy. We kept that name to ourselves but my SIL (married to my
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    brother) found it out when she was still pregnant with my nephew (almost 7 months old). She never said how. She just told us she loved the name, congrats and she couldn't wait to meet him. We
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    assume she snooped because she was not told. I even mentioned it to my brother and he said that his wife does like to browse through people's things like it was no biggie.
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    Gabriel William Oliver Jacob John Lucas Daniel
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    Then when my nephew was born they announced his name and it was the name we chose. First, middle and last name. My brother called right after
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    SIL posted the announcement and he told me to keep quiet because his wife had a rough birth and she didn't need drama and he knew we might not like it but she really wanted the name.
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    Her reason? My brother and I have matching twin- like names and SIL wanted to connect our two boys by just giving them the same name so they were each other's namesake.
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    Cheezburger Image 10522525696
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    My wife and I talked it over and we decided to pick different name. But we'd pretend to keep the original name until there was zero risk of SIL changing my nephew's name (6 months after a birth is harder to make a change in our state).
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    We only started telling people the true name last week. My parents and sisters said it made sense. Friends and my ILs understood why we did it. My
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    brother told me I upset his wife by silently doing this sh and taking away her choice to match the boys. I move. I told him his wife move. He told me it was a using the full name we chose was a
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    I asked him if he considered how much tougher it would be with both boys enrolled in the same schools with the very same name. Not to mention
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    banking, doctors, dental all kinds of stuff. He told me plenty of people have the same name and it's not a big deal and it's harder to mix sh up now and we're just trying to gatekeep names.
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    G G &
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    I think he's cray. So does my wife. She said he clearly doesn't want SIL to be mad. But AITA for what I did? Like are we weird for thinking of this kind of stuff?
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    Amaranthim But you didn't 'gatekeep'. You didn't tell them they had to change the name they stole from you. You were quite kind and didn't make a fuss over it. They are mentally deficient. Congrats on your new baby
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    Correct_Emu_8787 Sharing a name with cousin can lead to confusion especially in school and other places
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    Lullaby_Lace_Girl Names are important and you had every right to choose a different one after what happened
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    Loving Wisdom Definitely NTA: Your brother is outraged that you "took away SIL's choice to match the boys" What about the fact that she took away your choice to have an individual name? By invading your privacy? He's fine with that I assume?
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    DaikonCompetitive147 OP He acted like it was no biggie while I'm thinking I need to keep a closer eye on her in future.
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    Careless-Set-3798 She used the full name, first, middle, and last intentionally and didn't tell you until after her son was born. That's not a sweet gesture. That's theft dressed up in fake sentimentality.
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    avid-learner-bot NTA for not letting SIL dictate names, her snooping was low-key whack. Your boy deserves an identity that's uniquely his, sans familial name-cloning drama.
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    Sunny Mossy How did she think copying the whole name was going to be fine? Your son should his own, not a clone made out of stupid spite or sneakiness.
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    FloMoJoeBlow Normally I would say that you don't own the name, but the issue here is with SIL's deciding on her own "to match the boys". That's just weird. NTA.
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    Daikon Competitive147 OP I find it weird too and as someone who had a name so similar to my brother, it causes headaches.
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    24601moamo NTA. Skip the brother. Tell SIL she is creepy and she's not allowed around your son until she gets her behavior under control. It's creepy in my opinion.
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    ScoobyDude2 you let them have the name, but they'll never have your originality. you know Imitation only flatters when it's done well.

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